Mermaid Week!

This week is Mermaid Week on the Confessions site! 

"A Race with Mermaids and Tritons" - Collier Smithers, 1895

I mean, who doesn't like mermaids? Seriously, if some sea-witch (who may or may not have been part of a Disney franchise) came up to you and said, "I'll make you a mermaid for day... if you give me your voice!" would you not immediately accept? I sure as hell would. And then I would also star in my own animation and sing with all the little sea creatures and....okay, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Let's think of the perks of being a mermaid or mer-person:

1) You can breathe under water!

2) Your fingers will not go soggy after being in the bath for ten minutes.

3) You can probably communicate with sea creatures and possibly get a job as a private, underwater detective and help out finding lost clownfish. 

4) You can chill on land if you want to. You might have to make a pact with some dastardly, sassy villain but, hey, you might just stumble across a charming human who may or may not live in a castle. 

5) Imagine the money you would save on transport! Those fins can take you anywhere you wanna go - the world is your oyster!

6) You'll obviously get a kick ass education - singing, life lessons and probably some self-defense thrown in there when a rowdy shark has snacked on one to many seals... 

7) You won't need to worry about snacking on that kale too much! Mer-people by nature don't wear any trousers... so no worrying about that damn pesky top button nonsense. Let those fins all hang out!

8) One word. Hair. Unrealistic hair expectations are a thing of the past. As a mermaid you're biologically programmed to have amazing hair. Science. 

9) Bras are a thing of the past. No one cares under the sea if you let those girls roam free or if you collect that coupon and get a free clam bra! The possibilities are endless. 

10) As a supernatural being, you have special abilities. One notable power - luring men to their deaths. Set the scene: you're just chilling in the ocean, waiting for the boyfriend to show up. You get a text on your clam phone - "Sorry bae, can't make it. Just bought the new FIFA." A simple hum of the tune and he's in the water by your side, it's up to you what happens next! Guess he didn't get the memo about your dark side! Oops. 

So this week, I'm dedicating this blog to all you beautiful sirens, selkies and of course, mers out there! If you have any specific book you want me to blog about, give me a heads up in the comments and I'll do my best! If not, I'm gonna be flagging up some of my favourite mermaid stories so please keep tuning in :)

"The Fisherman and the Siren" - Lord Frederick Leighton, 1858

Mer out!