Am I a 'bad' feminist?
Firstly, this post is going to be a little different to what I usually do. The reason behind this is because I've been pondering this question for a couple of days now. And it all began with one comment from a friend of mine in regards to the matter of women in erotic fiction:
"They're just male playthings, aren't they?"
As we both sat there, each in our separate rooms, separate lives, and separate ideas, we began to get into a discussion about my favourite genre through text. Now, don't get me wrong, both she and I are partial to the monthly rom-com and Doritos binge, but when we started discussing the portrayal of women in the erotic genre, we both had somewhat differing views. Of course, I knew to which series she was referring to when she made this very bold statement - the illusive ties, red rooms and overbearing contracts. Suffice to say, my dear friend (and just to let you know, she's still my dear friend) had only ever read that certain series. However, it got me thinking. Can our expectations of erotica ever fully assimilate into main stream feminism?
I, myself, align to being a feminist. And I'm proud to be one, however, I have always had the niggling doubt in my mind that my feminist ideology clashed with what I loved most: romance and erotic fiction. Was I actually a 'bad' feminist for even liking something which on the front can be seen as demeaning to my own sex? That, in the mainstream, portrays women as simple, unchallenged and ultimately weak and (in the very LARGE context) can advocate domestic violence when confronted in the harsh light of day. This can never be a good thing, surely? Domestic violence can never be condoned. And I would never say that we can give it leeway in fiction. The idea is monstrous. What I am saying is, however, that it is how the relationship between the characters is seen and most importantly written that is the key. From the get go, a reader must be able to indulge in their fantasies with these characters, but there must always an understanding of consent within erotic fiction. Notably, between the characters engaging with each other on those pages and the reader/writer relationship. It is down to the author to make these lines clear. If they aren't clear then we as readers and budding writers too, will get our lines blurred - and we all know, that's never a good
There have been numerous stories about the rise/mainstreaming of erotic fiction and the decline of female worth. Certainly, it would not take you long to scroll through any social media site to see a article labeling erotic fiction as bad or regressive. Perhaps that is why erotic fiction has always been something to hide, to sneak a peak at in the back section of Waterstones, or even curl up on the sofa to and indulge ourselves, alone, on a Saturday night?
As my friend had pointed out, in very basic terms, society does not always see such sexual exploration as good or even right in some contexts. Yes, erotic fiction is now, as you might say, "out-of-the-closet" but does that stigma still carry weight?
I think it does. There is something secretive and naughty about sexual exploration in our society that does not fit with reality. In some sense, the idea that erotic fiction and feminism cannot work together is very dogmatic.The idea of a single stream of feminism itself is dogmatic. We should be free to express our own sexuality and experiences in any form. And, even if I am called a 'bad' feminist, or even if someone does not agree with me, then I will still subscribe to the erotic fiction genre. Not because, I think women are 'male playthings' but in fact, quite the opposite. To base your idea of a certain aspect of fiction on one badly written and, should I say, boring set of books is limiting your scope of learning. Erotic fiction for me, is about the freedom of openly expressing yourself as not only, a sexual being, but as a women too. Many of the female leads in such works, are not the meek and mild characters that society thinks they are. No, in fact, many of these women (thought up by both women and men) are inspiring, independent and alluring. These are not the weak female leads, and to even characterise them as 'feisty' or 'untamed' does them and their authors a discredit. They arr as real as you and me. They think, they feel and they know who they are. In some ways, the author is just there as a scribe to their lives.
Many times I've read author's interviews where they say the characters formed themselves: almost like they were living beings. But, perhaps this is beside the point. What I wanted to discuss in this post was the fact that, no, I do not believe I am a 'bad' feminist because I love the witty repartee of the erotic genre. No, in fact, I think the erotic genre gives us something - as humans - that allows us to explore our own beings and our own sexuality freely, without the Big Brother eye of society looming over us. It allows us to express a part of our identity that is fundamental to how we are and now we act, feel and think.
